Tags: Funny, Misuse, Statues, Humor, people, collection, interesting
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Funny California Driving Test Answers
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given
by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop
at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your
car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if
you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop
at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your
car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if
you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
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Monday, February 8, 2010
11 Interesting Facts!!!
1. Intelligent people have more zinc
and copper in their hair.
2. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
3. Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
4. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
5. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. The Mona Lisa had no eyebrows.
8. When the moon
is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
9. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
10. "I Am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
11. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste
in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
and copper in their hair.
2. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
3. Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
4. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
5. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. The Mona Lisa had no eyebrows.
8. When the moon
is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
9. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
10. "I Am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
11. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste
in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
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Sunday, February 7, 2010
15 Most Weird X-Rays
Amazing xray pics. People have some weird stuff inside...
A dentist found the source of the toothache Patrick Lawler
was complaining about on the roof of his mouth: a four-inch
(10-centimeter) nail the construction worker had unknowingly
embedded in his skull six days earlier.
was complaining about on the roof of his mouth: a four-inch
(10-centimeter) nail the construction worker had unknowingly
embedded in his skull six days earlier.
Doctors in Pakistan removed a whole lightbulb from a prisoner's
anus June 28. The man said he awoke with the problem, but
doctors weren't sure.
anus June 28. The man said he awoke with the problem, but
doctors weren't sure.
This X-ray shows a boy who swallowed magnetic pieces of a block
one at a time. When they hit his stomach, they reconnected.
Elsie, a 6-month-old Saint Bernard, swallowed a 13-inch serrated
knife in September 2005. After an operation, the pup had an
8-inch scar but was otherwise fine
A film shows PVC plumbing pipes inserted in the bones of a deceased
person as part of an alleged body parts ring.
On 2004, dutch actress Georgina Verbaan confounded critics
who doubted the authenticity of her mams by publishing
impressive x-ray profiles of the suspect assets on her website.
The results are conclusive proof that the 25-year-old did not
surgically enhance her jubs in advance of a €200,000 photo
shoot for the December issue of Dutch Playboy
An alien face seems to appear in the X-ray of a duck, which died
in May from injuries it had when found.
A nail gun shot six nails into construction worker Isidro Mejia's
head during an April 2004 accident. He not only survived but was
expected at the time to recover fully.
A An 6-inch pair of surgical scissor appears in the abdomen
of Australian Pat Skinner in April 2004 -- 18 months after
her initial operation.
X-rays from Central Prison in Raleigh, N.C., show items such as
bed springs and batteries that prisoners swallowed to gain trips
to outside hospitals.
Python Gulps Down Queen-Size Electric Blanket. It took surgery to save
a 12-foot Burmese python after it swallowed an entire queen-size
electric blanket - with the electrical cord and control box.
Veterinarians Karsten Fostvedt, above, and Barry Rathfon performed
the two-hour operation.
A safety pin
A fork
A row of button batteries
A car key
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Most Funniest Drunk Celebrities
Everyone's had that moment where they looked at themselves in the mirror wasted and thought, "Jesus Christ, have I always been this ugly?" Then they wake up the next morning and look at themselves in the mirror and it's only a minor improvement so they start to get worried. After eating Burger King, an entire box of spaghetti and Oreo's they decide to look at themselves in the mirror one more time around 8:00 pm and they recognize themselves again. After that they usually crawl back into bed and wonder why it's wet and smells like urine.
For MOre Images : Most Funniest Drunk Celebrities
For MOre Images : Most Funniest Drunk Celebrities
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